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Dr. Cullen will no doubt remember my calling on him in the
month of March last on account of a Nervous Disorder I was at that
troubled with --- I am happy in informing him that by a strict
observance of his prescriptions &c. it was attended with the desired
for effect, but being again threatned with the same symptoms
I am induced once more to apply to him for relief --

Just about the time I seemed to have got well from my ailments
I met with a most unlucky accident from which I attribute the
present return of my Nervous Disorder ---- It was about 7 weeks
from the time the infection was communicated before & any symptoms
of the disorder appeared, which possibly might proceed from my constant
bathing in the Sea together with the frequent use of the Acid
mixture orderd for my Nervous disorder. ---

My Symptoms were, a running of a thick and very Yellow
colour, appearing to be of a very virulent nature, for in a few
days it produc'd a troublesome Perrephimosis which was obliged to be
cut for 10 or 12 days til the inflammation seemed to be abated, when
it acquired a settled swelling without any Pain in which state
it remains to this day --- Upon the first appearance of the
disorder I was put under a course of Mercury, in which I persisted
for about a Month without any intermission til my Mouth
was ulcerated and so much affected that Brimstone was obliged to be
applied to counteract the Mercury and have continued to take
it in small quantities chiefly outwardly almost constantly til
within those 10 or 12 days when I was attacted with such a
violent fit of my Nervous Disorder that I have been obliged to
give up the use of the Mercury for fear of endangering my life

In this case I have applied to two Surgeons, but followed the
prescriptions of only one & from the quantity of Mercury I have
taken together with my very great regularity I am induced to think
I must have been sadly mismanaged otherwise I should certainly
before this time have got cured of a comon Gonerhea

The Surgeon who's prescriptions I have followed seems very
confident that no posion of the disorder remains and has therefore
orderd me a dose of Bark every morning, my usual quantity of
of the Acid mixture before dinner and 15 drops of Capivi in
the evening ; this course I have persisted in for 8 or 10 days --
but the other Surgeon is of another opinion, and thinks
the disorder not intirely subdued and advises the use of
the Mercury outwardly --- Betwixt these two advises I am
at a loss how to act, being persuaded that I am not safe
from the disorder, but should I persist in the use of the Mercury
I am afraid it may prove fatal; my constitution being much weakned
already and my Nervous Disorder making great progress ---

I am the rather confirmed in the last Surgeons opinion by
a darting pain I feel in different parts of the Penis (within those
few days) appearing very red and inflamed all over and the
Testicles of a more red colour than usual--- I am apt to
think that this is occasioned by some of the running getting into
the Perephimosis, for the Surgeon had forced the skin over, by which
means the Matter all lodged within and the Skin was ruffled and thereby matter must have got
in------

It may be necessary further to observe that since I first got ease
I have never had any pain in making Water, and even at this time

I can scarce say I have any --- The running is rather of a more
yellow colour of late, and I have never known much of a difference in
it except that it is sometimes pretty romp, but this is not always
the case, and I have observed all along that the quality & quantity
has been very variable, some days more in quantity than others
so that it seems to have had some place of Lodgement -- but
I do not now feel pain in any particular place as I did at
first, when I found something like an obstruction within the
Urethra just below the Testicles which at some times gave me
a little pain, but this being easy and having no sort of pain
in erection I am certainly much better on the whole -- I have
taken the liberty to inclose some of the running by which the
quality may be known, it is the running of a few howers.

With respect to my Nervous complaints, I have been attacted in
fits much like what I have been before. It is generally usher'd
on with a remarkable chilly coldness which no fire nor even
the heat of the Bed can remove, accompanied with trembling
and violent pulsations in different parts of the Body, a fluttering
about the heart and palpitations thereof, the pulse remarkably
quick, I have sometimes counted and found it in general about
110 in the minute, these fitts have ↑sometimes↑ continued on me for 24
howers, but generally subside when I go to bed, at which
time the pulse becomes very slow sometimes not beating above
50 or 60, but the smallest motion quickens it, such as stretching
or turning my body in Bed, but particularly when I get up
in the morning if quickens and when I take any thing to breakfast
especially if warm, it becomes very quick, seeming as if it
wanted to make up the lost time in lying a bed---

The Surgeon has just been to see me, he is of opinion that

the Inflammation of the Testicles, proceeds rather from the astringent
medicines I have been taking - together with my rubbing mercury upon
the place as from the running getting into the Perrephimores

Inclosed the Doctor will be pleased to receive two Guineas --- this
is a very small Sum and I am sorry that my situation in
life does not enable me to be more generous--

I shall expect to be favourd with an answer to this in course
as I remain at present in a perelous situatien.

Mill at Montrose
9. p. 72